When stuck on a mental roundabout, call a friend

How stepping outside your mind helps to see a life or creative problem afresh

Photo by Ahmad Taufiq Hosni on Unsplash

Do you know Mr Bean, from the British comedy show played by Rowan Atkinson?

Many skits show him driving his yellow Mini and getting into all sorts of scrapes.

But I don’t remember ever seeing him navigate a roundabout or traffic circle.

Although I can see him having trouble getting off one.

It’s the challenge of making a decision that will stump him.

Which exit to take.

He'll find it easier to keep going in circles.

Because I bet he’s already smashed the GPS in the Mini. He didn’t like someone talking at him in his own car. Or some such absurd excuse.

But Mr Bean’s not alone here.

Questions without answers

Ever found yourself on this roundabout?

You'd know if you have.

It looks like rumination or obsessive thoughts going nowhere.

It feels like you're drowning in a quicksand of indecision.

You think:

• Should I focus on the ebook or workshop?

• Do my new readers need a simple checklist or mini-course?

• How can I make this project pay for itself?

Going round and round in your head.

On a forever loop.

That you can’t bend into a straight line.

And if you suffer FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), you can become terrified to choose.

• What if I take the wrong road?

• What if the other road is faster?

• What if the map’s old and inaccurate? (Of course, only Mr Bean would still use a map).

The incessant questions don’t help.

They overwhelm and tire you out.

They also leave you still stuck, sitting in the car, on the roundabout like Mr Bean.

Wondering when you’ll ever be able to leave this boring circle.

Finding the GPS signal

If your head's been in this frustrating place, you’ll know what a gift it is when someone steps in there with you.

Sits you down.

And asks the right questions about where you're trying to go.

They get oriented to the starting point. and the destination.

Then help steer you toward the next step you need to take in that direction.

It’s a relief.

You're moving again.

Your energy, confidence, and momentum grow.

It’s like finding out how to turn the GPS back on.

That reassuring voice starts commanding you to take the next turn.

In 200 yards.

To the left.

You don’t need to decide whether left or right.

It’s clear and obvious.

Simple, focused, and in the right direction.

You’re off the roundabout!

You can kick back and listen to your audiobook instead.

Because GPS remembers the final destination that you put in a few hours ago.

And it will only tell you the next step when you're approaching the point to act on it.

The creator’s reset

I know that when I find myself lost in that circular place, it’s time to ask for help.

Nothing else works as well.

I want to access another mind that will help me course correct to my final destination.

A mind that doesn't work the same as mine.

That isn’t in the same rut or roundabout that I’m in.

Who’ll see my next simple step.

And save me from wasting more time, focus, and effort in wrestling it down.

Because once I talk the issue through with someone, I see exactly how and where I’m stuck.

The act of hearing myself describe it helps me.

It’s a game-changer.

A gift.

A simple chat can bring clarity in an hour.

Enjoy the speed of the highway

For you, the right person to help might be

• a mentor

• a guide

• a coach

• a friend.

For me, it’s usually a fellow creator on a similar path to me.

Who I, in turn, can help out.

To find more mental space and kickstart their next step.

It's why I love being part of a creative community.

We recognise ourselves in each other.

And know how valuable a quick mindset shift can be to speed up our progress.

And lose the loop.

By the way, to return to Mr Bean.

He was on his traffic circle of doom for hours, of course.

Blissfully immune from the chaos he was causing around him.

Entertaining himself with the radio and other distractions

Convinced this was his lot in life for the foreseeable future

So why not enjoy it?

But a truck has sideswiped him.

And knocked him off course.

As always, he’ll survive.

Safe, if a bit perplexed.

How did he get off the roundabout? He wonders.