The Dark Side of Being a Solopreneur That No One Talks About

Some insights you have to earn

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I feel lied to.

Taken in.

Given a bum steer.

Because my year didn’t turn out the way I expected.

I thought by now, I’d have something substantial to show for my efforts.

Like a decent following, a reliable income, and a slew of digital products I’d created.

Nope. Not quite. Not even close.

So I’m looking back to see how to go forward in this solopreneur writing gig.

And to see how I got here.

How it begins

I started the year with blazing energy.

Full of passion.

Purpose.

Ideas.

Plans.

I went to work on them.

And on the way, I found fellow travellers.

And picked up some more ideas, methods, frameworks, insights, and advice.

And newsletters.

Which threatened to swamp my inbox.

So I created filters and labels so they wouldn’t.

And felt uber-organised as a result.

Things were going swimmingly.

And I expected this to continue.

What happens in the middle

And it did continue.

Over the year, I implemented some of this advice:

• I posted online daily for a year.

• I attracted subscribers.

• I sent out 43 newsletters.

• I engaged with brilliant writers here and on social media.

• I ran 2 online writing challenges.

• I made lifelong friends with a mastermind.

• I felt inspired to expand my reach.

And then, last month, everything shifted.

I fell flat, like I was drowning.

Motivation disappeared.

To give some context, our family lost a wonderful guy.

My health diagnosis set off an alarm (all good now).

And, well, it was almost the end of the year with the fatigue that entails.

But there were other reasons for feeling low.

• I realised that I had not kept up with my goals.

• I felt like I was falling behind everyone.

• I had slacked off on my daily posts.

• I had left social media behind.

• I hadn’t found time to read most of the newsletters.

• I hadn’t found time to implement most of the new frameworks.

• I hadn’t found time to create my own framework.

• Or set up an email program.

• Or create a mini-course.

• Or write my ebook.

And I was disappointed in myself.

So many goals not reached.

I started to wonder if this was all worth it.

Because the passion, the purpose, and the energy I set out with were waning.

I felt tired. Alone. Uninspired. Which, for me, is a dark place.

A bit deceived by the hype (I needed a scapegoat).

Ready to give up.

Yes, I was clearly in need of more self-care (but not the bubble bath kind).

I knew I needed to realign with something deeper inside myself.

The happy ending you can write for yourself

So I took time off and didn’t push myself.

Instead

• I sought joy.

• I read for pleasure.

• I saw live music bands.

• I visited beautiful gardens.

• I found my paints and easel.

• I met with old school friends.

• I trusted that my true readers would stick around.

• I gave myself a break to let my new direction find me.

I also spent way less time in front of a screen.

And more time with people in real life instead of on Zoom.

And I slowly found myself again.

I found what energizes me.

I saw how I am my own enemy and saboteur.

I discovered that I would always be able to swim if I just let myself float for a while.

It became very clear to me:

• who created those crushing demands

• who could reframe them

• who was telling me lies.

And how seeing through the eyes of fatigue does not give a true picture of what’s happening in your life.

Because things are not that bad. Not that heavy. Not that lost.

And always open to change.

To be paced differently.

To be framed anew.

To be celebrated.

To be shared.

And this is why we need to check in regularly with friends, fellow travellers, and mentors.

To rejig our mindset.

To get a different perspective. To tell ourselves a more true story. To lighten up.

To realise that we have grown.

In ways far more precious than creating income, followers, and digital products.

For example, I have learned how to write better. And faster.

I know more about what my readers want.

I have experience in running challenges.

I have written a portfolio of work.

I have a “village” of people who support and see me.

I have been inspired and rejuvenated by gorgeous writing.

I can find my inner power to reset and replenish when I need to.

And I have ample time to spend reaching my goals, which will likely change as I go.

That’s the Big Realisation for me.

Those new goals will be on my terms. Custom-made to fit me. Born out of who I am and what I need, today.

I intend to enjoy every day of the journey, not just hang in there for the destination.

As a Solopreneur in My Third Act of Life.

This independence of thinking is an extraordinary privilege I am beyond grateful for.

But I had to experience this year (and last month) to know the value of what I have and where I’ve been.

To get closer to creating a well-aligned and satisfying life on my terms.

Because it’s the only way I’ll still be doing this in another five years’ time.

(In case you’re wondering about the photo above. It’s where I was this time last year — Kerala, India.

At a tribal street parade.

He looks dark, hot, and scary.

But the story is one of new life, rebirth, and light.)

In the first 2 weeks of 2025, I’ll be running a challenge to write your first short ebook. This is an opportunity to share one of your skills or strategies in a format you can easily share.
DM me if interested in getting on the waitlist. Spots will be limited so everyone will get the group help they need. Details to come. Deep discount for annual paid subscribers.