How to get more of what you value in life in 3 easy steps

Paying attention to what matters

Have you ever wondered about the value of something and been stunned when you found out what it’s “worth”?

It happened to me recently.

For insurance purposes, I had a family heirloom valued.

I didn’t care for its style or appearance. Not my taste.

But some people do care for it and value it more than I did.

Have you ever watched the TV show “Antiques Roadshow”? Then you know an object is sometimes also valued for the story it tells.

It takes “experts” to explain why this is trash and that is a treasure.

In other words, value is not absolute. Not the same for everyone.

Photo by Sergey Sokolov on Unsplash

It started me thinking about what we value—things, experiences, and people.

And how to bring more meaning and satisfaction into your life by living according to what you value.

What does value mean?

What is value?

The word comes from the Latin ''Valere,'' which means:

Be worth. Value is defined as the worth, usefulness or importance of someone or something.

Yes, it’s personal. What’s “useful” or “important” to you may not be to me. And what you value changes over time.

Imagine you’re 5 months old. It’s important to scream your heart out when you’re tired. So they all hear you loud and clear and put you to bed.

But now you’re 50 years old. You want to say something uncomfortable but important to your family.

Your values guide you in how you hold that conversation.

1. It's important to get my point across. It might take screaming. (Value=Being myself)

2. It's important to be tender with my family. I'll wait until I'm rested to speak to them. (Value=Protecting my loved ones)

This looks like an obvious choice. But if you’re not clear on your core values and how your actions reflect them, you may make an unfortunate choice.

What may feel "important" to you at the moment can look trivial when seen in the bigger picture of your core values.

Why knowing your core values matters

In creating the life you want, it’s essential to get clear on what you value. What matters to you. What you’re prepared to change yourself for.

Then ask yourself how you can prioritise your time and attention around what you value.

Because walking your talk feeds your values.

Yes, these values are hungry. And you’ll starve them out if you ignore them.

If love and connection rank among your top core values, upsetting your loved ones will hurt you. So your screaming has to stop. You may have to give value (and time) to professional counselling.

If adventure and freedom are your top core values, you’ll have to find a way to support this lifestyle. You’ll value finding income streams that allow you to take time off and travel.

If self-expression ranks in your core values, you’ll have to find ways to express yourself. You’ll value finding mentors who’ve been where you want to go and can help you guide your next steps.

For me, joy, beauty, and being close to wildlife matter. So I planted a native garden to watch it grow and to attract nectar-loving birds, butterflies, and bees. I value the work and investment of time and money because the garden brings me joy.

Photo by Narly Brad on Unsplash

How to find your core values is a topic for another time, but if you’re interested, this website is a great place to start.

How to start living by your core values

A revealing place to see what you value is in your calendar.

Seeing where you now spend your time. And deciding where you want to spend it in the future.

To take you deeper into what matters to you.

If you look back on the last month’s appointments, what do they reflect about your priorities?

Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash

What do you want to change?

If you could, how much more time would you choose to spend on:

Exercising?

Volunteering?

Hanging out with friends and family?

Being in nature?

Cooking better food?

Planning an adventure?

Writing?

Reading?

Resting?

How to know when you’re not aligned with your values

Your values are what give your life meaning and purpose.

They reflect who you are.

What you need.

What energizes you.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

So you’ll know if you’re not being true to them by how little vitality you feel.

Watch out for these feelings:

• tired

• angry

• stuck

• frustrated

• ready to quit

• ready to leave

• ready to blame

• ready to weep.

And now that you know your top values, pay attention to which one is crying out for more.

This self-awareness will upend your life.

To sum up, to get more of what you value in life, take these 3 steps:

1. Know your core values.

2. Align your calendar (your time and actions) with those core values.

3. Assess where you’re not aligned if you don’t feel pumped about your day.

And because I value you and your time, could I ask you to let me know what you’d enjoy hearing more of from me?

More:

• Actionable advice on writing

• Insights about an engaged life after 50

• General life musings
  

Just pop your replies in the comments. Appreciate it.

Inward, onward, upward!

To hear from me weekly in your inbox, it’s easy to subscribe below.